终于~~

见到你了

在很突然的情况下

预料之外

应该开心吗?

却有一种莫名的空虚感

你相信我依然爱你？

很久很久

很久很久

没试过心痛的滋味了

今天

它又回到我了身边

嗨~好久不见

呵呵~你好吗

可笑

冷淡的讽刺

嘲笑声依稀听见

失败得彻底

为什么我那么脆弱

应该说得上是懦弱

废物

没用

垃圾

一想你

心就平衡不了

心一跳

爱就开始了煎熬

叫思念 不要吵

我想尽快地把你忘掉

真的很想要

把你忘得一干二净

真的

很希望

但是

我

办不到

每一次想到你

想见到你

那份脆弱

又出现了

挡也挡不住

拦也拦不了

能怎么办

认了

忍了

想把你抱紧的冲动

想尽办法压抑着

很辛苦

很难受

很难过

痛心

却无能为力

只能呆望着

你的

离去

一旦转身

你却头也不回

~痛~

《我爱你》

《yonglin》

我那不争气的心

它又失败了坚持

坚持不了不去爱

《你》

《对不起，真的！》

开始找你了~

NYL...

有种冲动

想要把你抱紧

想念你那温暖的拥抱

什么也不用说

只要紧紧地抱着我

就能感觉到那份爱

可是为什么

你却好像失踪了那样

怎么找也找不着

想要遇见你的心情

越来越浓烈

越来越渴望

就算是见你一面也好

就算你再也不能把我抱在怀里也好

一眼就好

想见一见那曾经熟悉的面孔

只想知道你是否过得好

身边是否真的多了个她

很好奇

你以前说过的不介意

说过的没关系

是真的吗

我能相信吗

我是多么幸运能遇到你

你知道我有多挣扎吗

在我鼓起勇气告诉你真相的那一刻

脑中闪过很多画面

能听得到你说的那句无所谓

我已心满意足

开心地不知如何是好

只能紧紧地把你抱着

深情地把你拥吻着

抛开了一切尴尬不安

去感受你的爱护

可是没有人能够猜测得到

故事

不一定都是喜剧收尾

也有的是悲剧

只能怪自己的不确定

很想但不能

那种感觉很不好受

但又有谁能明白

没有

心理的难受只有自己明了

你又是否知道

我是多么想要一字一句

慢慢地

每一个字都和你说清楚

只希望你能明白我的想法

你又是否知道

那一个下午

我是多么后悔提出了分手

那一个晚上

我又有多后悔拒绝了你

在我转身离开的时候

没人看见我的心在滴着血

滴着那新鲜伤口处的

。。血。。

与

。。泪。。

划满了脸孔

滴下的血又再一次在伤口上

狠狠的

划了一刀

痛

痛死了

一切至此

宣告

~终止~

羡慕~~

老实说

我很羡慕你们

身边都有爱人

他们都那么地爱你们

为什么我就是遇不到

是我太挑剔吗

还就真的是我的命运

有那么悲惨吗

为什么我遇到的都是同一款

~PLAYBOY~

现在把陪在我身边多年的长发剪短了

而且是

很短很短

甚至比男生的头发还更短

想说换一个形象

换一种心情

换一个生活

却万万没想到它会失败

外表的确有了超大的改变

但心灵却怎么也该改不了

曾经想过要转性

但不只我自己

就连朋友们都笃定我不会怎么做

因为我实在是太直了

连一点点被转弯的迹象也没有

是喜是悲

不知

也许这可以证明说我的确是100%纯正的女生

哈哈

或许也只能够这样安慰自己了

有点不太斯文的女生

嘻嘻

短发的我

你还会喜欢吗

大家都觉得我是被你们影响了

但我没有

并不是你们

真的

我只是想换一换我的形象

我并不留恋从前

我向往未来

我希望可以找到自己的归宿

找到可以依靠的他

我看似女强人

但并非你所看到的那样

我也是需要适当关心的女生

伪装已成为我生命中的一部分

很重要的那一块

总会不知不觉地披上它

让你们看不到真正的我

对不起

不是有意

只是习惯动作

本性

你们学不来

我却改不了

只想告诉大家

我是很脆弱但很复杂的女生一名

哈哈

我需要保护但却没人能够欺负到我

矛盾

或许这就是原因

因为我不会撒娇

我不会发娇

所以男生们很难被我迷倒

被我迷倒的男生应该都是喜欢我自然不做作吧

LOL

脸皮够厚

但都是真的

我讨厌假假的人

我更讨厌吊高来卖的女生

那种女生她们不值得

不是我口贱

是事实摆在眼前

我不想逃避

讨厌就是讨厌

没惹到我你们识相

你的口水弹到我我就要你们死得不漂亮

比ugly betty还要丑

看你死不死

哈哈哈

XD

算了。。Let It Be。。Domdom Pohni suppose to be Happy always。。

Ms. C, no matter what you did to me...

I won't care about it anymore...

I wish I can still greet to you when we meet...

but mostly it won't comes true and never will...

I lower down myself...

put down my dignity...

DO apologized to you...

You never accept it...

Never Mind...

But you still think that I was just kidding...

OKAY...fine...

I admit I did something wrong and bad toward you...

I know it hurts you...

I'm so sorry for all that happened to us and it was unpleasant one...

seriously...sincerely...

I wish that you could forgive me with your true and deeper heart...

but I should know it will never be true no matter how long I had wait for it...

Loh Poh Ni...

wake up please...

don't stuck over there anymore...

I blocked you before and I unblocked...

Now I block again...

this is because it is pointless for me to care on someone that never appreciate my love...

wasted!!!

you already block me from viewing you status...

as I told that I viewed your profile and I felt sad for your current unhappy status...

after that you blocked me from viewing your wall status...

I guess so you no need me to be your friend anymore...

no need my care on you anymore...

so I should just let it go far far away and don't even let it come back...

It was just a nightmare...

forget about it...

nothing much for you to stay stubborn anymore...

she is just to cruel to be true...

she don't bother you...

what for you still care about her life her everything...

let her die also non your business anymore...

watch out your own attitude and impression toward others first la...

Bitch!!!

~事实证明。你。讨人厌~

事实证明

有问题的人是你

我讨厌你是当然的

如果只有我讨厌你

或许是我对你有偏见

但现在

越来越多人在你背后说你不好。。不喜欢你了

那你是不是应该检讨一下？

以前如果被我听到别人说你不好。。说你坏话

我会讨厌他们

因为那时的我依然深爱着你

现在

对你已没什么感觉

反而还变得讨厌你了

我也不想

因为喜欢一个人总比讨厌一个人好过

只是我没办法控制我的情绪

听到别人说讨厌你

我反而多了一份开心的感觉

哈哈

我知道自己有这样的想法很不应该

但就是不能控制

虽然还是希望可以当回朋友

因为陌生人真的不好当

可是现在的我已经慢慢开始对这种烂生活感到麻木了

深怕自己会习惯了这种生活

上了瘾

到时候要撇掉对你厌倦的习惯

恐怕就会有点难了

或许应该说是你应经厌倦了我这个人

你有你的生活

我过我的

彼此的生活永远不会再有交叉点

就像两条平行线

永远都不会碰头

就算像现在

碰见了

也会把对方当透明

完全不会去在意对方的存在

是好是坏？

我也不知道

只希望我们的关系不会演变成更糟糕的局面

就已经足够了

^^

放弃？？不知。。还是。。不想。。

。。放弃吗。。

。。都已经低声下气。。

。。想要祈求原谅。。

。。她还是不领情。。

。。更不想让你关心她。。

。。坚持还有用吗。。

。。看不到了。。

。。什么都看不清了。。

。。渐渐地。。

。。都变得模糊了。。

。。我都快不知道。。

。。我到底活在这世界上。。

。。想要得到什么了。。

。。努力过也未必能如愿。。

。。当你放弃了尊严。。

。。别人也未必会领情。。

。。到头来都只是浪费。。

。。十件好事永远都比不上一件坏事。。

一句

。。《我爱你》。。

。。也不可能赢得过一句。。

。。《我很你》。。

。。人都是自私的。。

。。这我懂。。

。。但就是固执地选择了不去相信。。

。。简称 《犯贱》。。

《彩香》吗？？

。。不记得你的名字了。。

。。我并不是你。。

。。不可能知道你在想什么。。

。。也不可能明白你到底有几伤。。

。。[或许伤的一直都只有我一个人]。。

。。原不原谅。。

。。都已无所谓。。

。。依稀记得我说过这么一句话。。

。。[道歉了。。并不代表对方一定要原谅你。。]

。。现在它终于用得着了。。^^

。。该开心吗？？

。。哈哈。。

。。总觉得它莫名的变得很讽刺。。

。。希望这一切的一切。。

。。可以在我选择消失的那一刻。。

。。化成灰烬。。

。。拜托风婆婆把它都吹得远远的。。

。。让我们都没有再找到它的机会。。

。。拜托。。

。。我会离开。我会消失。。

。。你们一定要好好的过。。

~悸动。Throbbing~

。喜欢上了*他*。

。但是这一次选择了沉默去对待。

。也许是经历了太多的不愉快。

。已经忘了如何真心的去笑了。

。有些时候。

。真的。

。大笑了一场后。

。当心情平复下来后。

。觉得好空虚哦。

。尤其是对着你。

。更是笑不出。

。别人都笑我笨。

。为什么要让你影响我的心情，我的人生。

。但他们都不懂。

。其实我还是那么的在乎你。

。你的一举一动，你的一切所有。

。既然我还是那么地在乎着你。

。就没有必要勉强自己不去在乎。

。既然还在乎，既然心情还是会被影响。

。那就认命吧，没必要躲。

。想笑就笑，不想笑就必然不用勉强自己嘛。

。不想笑但却要戴着面具去对别人露出笑容。

。我觉得自己很假，很虚伪，多此一举。

。我希望自己很真。

。想做什么就做什么。

。想哭想笑，想吃想睡，想玩或是想你了。

。管他的。

。做了再打算呗。

。反正开心就好。

。没有别的事情比自己开心还重要了。

。笑笑没烦恼。

。^^。

。希望心里好不容易再一次产生的那股悸动。

。会好好的持续下去。

。就算你真的喜欢她了。

。也应该不会怎么样吧。

。最多让自己伤心那一下下咯。

。一下下就好了，真的就够了。

是时候放弃了。。。

卢宝妮

是时候放弃了

没必要。也没理由继续坚持下去了

他。他。他。还有他

不管多爱。多喜欢

都该放弃了

不是你的。勉强得回来。终究还是会分离

到头来。痛的依然还是自己

我可不可以就随随便便

不用考虑太多的

只要有就好了

可以吗？？

我真的很想。很想

就像其他女生那样

只要人家喜欢你就好了嘛

管他的自己到底喜不喜欢

哈哈

开玩笑啦 ^^

你求我都不会那样做的

他。变了

我无能为力

他。没了

我真猜不透

他。骗了

我的心麻了

他。懂了

我却坏了原则

><

pain~~

Can you please STOP SMOKING and STOP being a DRINKER??

Please~~

You want me to beg you??

Think of your mom...

your grandparent...

even your younger brother n also your beloved kei yeh kei ma...

Think of them...

How they going to feel??

How sad will they be??

Do you ever think of this??

21 years old d...

Still don't know way to be mature...

way to think maturely...

way to speak maturely...

Please la...

Do you know how pain my heart is??

Do you know how bad I wish I could cry out loudly??

BUT I can't...

Do you know how suffer n difficult it is when someone you still love the most...

He/She getting depressed...

What he/she did definitely look like he/she is going to GIVE UP in life...

But he/she still denied it all the time...

And you got no idea why he/she do so...

Do you know how pik chik it is???

Sometimes I do really feel like slapping on my own face...

Bang my head to the wall...

just wish that I could stop thinking you for even only one second...

That time i viewed your blog and saw your latest post...

Mentioned there you started to smoke and becoming a drinker...

My heart...really pain like HELL...

What The Fucking Feeling it is...><...

aaarrrrgghhhhHHHHHH!!!!!!

feel like killing myself to stop doing stupid things that relates to you anymore...

CXXX XXK HXXXX

You do really fucking Up my life again n again...

When only can stop it???

Or when I get terminated that time I should actually chose to leave UTAR...

but not stay here anymore...

haiz...

I guess so was my fault again!!!

FUCK!!!

Just want to tell you "I Love You"

‎1、我需要告诉你一个秘密，请看5
...2、答案请看11
3、不要生气，请看15
...……4、冷静，不要生气，请看13
5、首先请看2

6、不要生气，请看12
7、我只想告诉你，NYL 我爱你
8、我想告诉你的是，答案在14
9、请耐心的看4
10、这是我最后一次这样做了，请看7

11、我希望你不要生气当我让你看6
12、抱歉，请看8
13、不要生气，请看10
14、我不知道怎么说，但请看3
15、你一定十分生气，请看9
♥♥♥♥♥

AM I WRONG???

I don't know what you want from me...

Friendship??

Relationship??

Can you please tell me directly??

I give up on guessing it anymore...

I do really hope there is someone that I really can give all my loves to...

and I found...

Its you...

I never regret to be together with you...

won't and never will...

I got no idea why do I avoid you that night...

maybe just like what I told...

I can't sure the relationship between both of us...

and you never tell...

just ask me to give you one day time...

If you really love someone...

Did you still need to think for so long??

This is what I curious for...

and why I avoided everything you try to do to me...

SORRY...

Not to say I don't Love you anymore...

just I don't know which character I need to face you with...

Friend OR Girl Friend??

I'm still confusing why you will come on that night...

Can you please tell me everything that is in your mind???

I do really tiring for guessing it again and again...

PLEASE~~

zombie...

...zombie...

is time to let you go...

I have nothing much to do with you...

what I can do is just let you go...

without regretting...

time to say goodbye...

...sorry that I love You...

and now...

I did hurt myself badly...

my heart broken once again...

why I always hurt myself...

and I seriously don't know why I keep doing this SHIT...

I had bring a lots of trouble to you...

sorry for everything I did and it was affected you...

suddenly dragged in the things...

one thing i knew from this lesson...

everyone is selfish...

no one can deny it...

...NEVER...

自我保护意识太强...

有时反而害了自己...

纸包不住火...

总有一天会烧伤自己...

谎话总有被拆穿的一天...

谁先说谎就是那个人的错...

I hope there is really no more lie in between...

but I don't think everything was settle as what we saw...

I hope is me myself think too much...

...I do...

and I wish everything can go back to the very beginning...

when we don't know each other well...

not strangers but just a normal friends that don't really know deep in each others...

...no secret in between...

...no hurting...

...no lie...

I miss all of YOU~~~

"Dear"...

I miss you...

not love but our friendship...

I do apologized with you for my mistake...

just hope that I can still get your forgiveness...

I just hate the feeling when we meet...

but we cant even say Hi to each other...

and what we need to do is avoid eyes contact with each other...

like a stranger..even worst than when we met a real stranger...

==...

I do really hope can get back our friendship...

"B..."

I start to miss you...

I miss our LOve StOry which was only last for one MOnTh...

although it was short...

I cherish and appreciate every single moment with you...

I love the way we kiss..we hug..we hold our hands..and we...

I love to hear you calling me "bibi"...

its sweeT...^^

I was always like a small kid when I'm with you...

I got no idea why I will became so "sai nai"...

hahaha...^^

I did put on my best effort to grab back you but FAILED...

back in single life less than 3 weeks...

I do feel like trying to get you back all the time...

but every time i saw your status...

you seem like missing another instead of me...

==...

that time I will tell myself really nothing I still can do to you...

I will just let you go...

I swear!!!

Hope you enjoy your life with your best brother...^^

Hope yours brotherhood can last forever and ever...

"zombie"

POhni do really miss you the most all the time...

every time I woke up or before I sleep...

the only thing came into my mind will just only you and always on time...

time that I spent to miss you was like 3 meals a day...

I miss you when eating...

I miss you when walking...

I miss you when bathing...

I miss you when dreaming...[you did came into my dreams for many times..]

I miss you more than I can say...

hope you really understand...

^^...

I didn't meant to force you...

just my guts to fall for you and efforts to catch you is getting lesser...

lastly...just wanna tell you...

I love You...

I will wait for you to come to me one day...

by temporary keeping and hiding my love toward you...

I just want to avoid the probability that I may get hurt from you...

sorry for my selfishness...

I do hope you understand me...

and please don't ever Misunderstand me...

^^...